who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
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