Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
