You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
