Christians are straight up FREAKS
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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