I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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