i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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