wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
