New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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