i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
