I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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