Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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