I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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