I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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