Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
