we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
