let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Randomize
