even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
