we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
