i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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