my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You dont lie about slip and slides
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
