I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
