i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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