I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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