You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
