my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
