Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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