come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so let's talk penis.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
