I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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