Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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