Got a toothbrush?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
