I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
