you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I fill condoms, not promises.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize