who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Hippo gnu deer
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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