The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
