Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
