New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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