You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
