Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
