You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
