Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
