doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
