how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
