there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
