i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
