Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
