One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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