white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
