Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
