Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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