she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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