I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
