Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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