singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
