So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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