i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I stole a fireplace last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
