i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
