I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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